"The hardest thing to do... is being next to someone you know you cant have"
Sunday, May 04, 2008
im sorry but ive got to move on with my own life
Honestly, I am on the verge of cracking. Sometimes I just want to wring people's necks while screaming "Pede bang sayo na problema ko?!!?!". Sometimes I just want to cut my throat and say, "Ok I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" while flipping my hair over my shoulder then walking out in the manner of a priss. But then I realize, that is not the mature way to solve things. And it was never my nature to easily give up on things.
Due to these realizations, my latest tactic emotionally was to admit mistakes and take responsibility for screwing up. I really hate complaining about love in my blog.
No one wants to be hurt. And no one deserves to be hurt. You see, all these years I've been building a wall between me and the word "LOVE", and I've been digging moats and trenches so that I could protect myself from it because I didn't want to get hurt. I built such a thick armor of defense around me so that no one could ever ever hurt me.
So forgive me if I'm not an expert at handling these things. I was so used to trying to just being on the defense. And during those times that I turned to you and begin a cycle of talks. It's just me being a kid. It's just me wanting you to be pleased with me.
It's just me being inlove with you.
I finally found out that there is something more important than yourself or your dreams... it is the person or the people you care about. If you cant find any reasons to live for, just try to think of those people or the person you value so much. As for me I found her but i just think that life itself was being unfair to me not to give her fully. I must admit that i had learned to value my life because of her and now that she's gone im still trying to live for the same reasons i have when she's still here. I just woke up finding myself facing the world alone, like nobody cares for me. Arggh so tired of thinking.
"kanina pa tayong magkasama.. umaga na pala.. mayamaya lang ay may araw na.. kahit tayo'y pagod at ang buong mundo ay tulog, ikaw at ako.. derederecho lang na walang pakialam.." -acolyteboi
"Presidents can learn a great deal from us dogs, we protect our territory with a passion, and we stay loyal to only one master, some people dont like all the barking and and biting that we do, but hey, we do not beleive in popularity, we do what is right not what gets approval, Do your work right, no amount of fanfare, slogans or gimmicks can cover up for a lousy performance"
-POL GAS